We Are All Going To Die....But How Many Of Us Will Truly Live?

Have you ever read Kris Carr's crazysexycancer.com? It's a documentary too. A pretty powerful one at that. Stop and think.....just for a moment......reflect on this woman's words:

"What I do know is that ritual is the most powerful way to find closure."

Ritual:
I can barely stomach the idea of losing someone I love. How to go on? How to deal with the intense missing?

Life is a terminal condition. If you watched me on Oprah last week (funny, it was a show on death) you heard me say it. Tis true, we're ALL going to die but how many of us will truly live? And what does that mean? Is it just another one of my cliche media sound bites? Well, in this raw state this is what I think truly living means:

1. Telling people you love them even though there is so much poison that you think you hate them. Once you say it you burst open with white joy and then you miss the time lost in the negative.

2. Doing things that make you really scared but really exhilarated.

3. Muting the voice in your head that is always worried, always tentative, always keeping you in the land of stuck. "Fuck it". "Just do it". GO.

4. Saying no to people who only take.

5. Saying yes to people who give you as much as you give them.

6. Opening your heart so wide that you touch a space that is unknown, uncomfortable and exposed. Staying in that space. Holding it. Holding it. Ahhhh.

7. Turning addictions into accomplishments. Nothing has you in it's grips. You are the grips.

8. Service to God/Goddess. Everything else will fall into place.

9. Sacred sweat, lots of it. Dance till you bleed. Laughing so loud someone complains.

10. Forgiving the world and then making it better.

And of course petting a kitty. Loving all sentient beings. Taking them off your plate and placing them on your sofa with a toy. Note: You may need a bigger sofa.

If everyone I meet is a teacher then Crystal was the ultimate sage. She adored ALL BEINGS. It was weird. Charles Manson could come for tea (or Bourbon) and she would have poured affection all over him. It was uncomfortable at times. "ENOUGH", I would say, "you're being creepy". But she had to pour it on that thick to get through some of my walls. She was sent to me for this very purpose. To teach me how to allow unconditional love in. I give it, but don't receive too much. Not that love isn't all around me. It is. I'm just very protective - or I was until the little grey love thunder came rollin' in. Now the steel is down and she is gone and there is so much ouchie, and endless thanks.